Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Nacho Poker Chips Doritos Commercial

Starring friends/fellow actors Chuck Clark, Derrick Barrett, & Leslie Morales.
Nacho Poker Chips: http://youtu.be/uzwQtwzSpFY

Monday, December 22, 2014

How to Pretend You Like A Gift (College Humour Short Film)

How To Pretend You Like That Shitty Gift (Hardly …: http://youtu.be/JhCS3ZS50FA

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Black Friday Prep: Christmas & Other Movies About Shopping

In light of stores now forcing their employees to work on Thanksgiving just so they can get a head start on the other guys with Black Friday sales, I decided on my Thanksgiving & Xmas Movie list: Shopping Movies. Send a message to retailers that Thanksgiving is a time to spend with family. They will continue this madness unless they don't make a a profit. Stop helping them. Instead, watch some of these movies with family instead.  Now I'm not trying to be a snob here. I like stuff too. However, I think there's been way too much emphasis on gifts during the holidays. How much your spend on your family does not indicate how much you love them. So here are some movies, some are Xmas themed and some not, These are about Stuff. About shopping, about keeping up with the Joneses. Some of these films have materialism as a lesson learned, and others are just movies with lots of pretty things. My point: Don't go Black Friday shopping until Black Friday. Have fun, be save, have a budget & a plan. And watch these movies for the strategies, pratfalls, and funny shopping scenes and tips I've gathered from those films.

Pretty Woman 1990
This film goes down in history as the worst example of prostitution depicted on screen. The idea that you can meet a nice john & fall in love is absurd. That aside, this film has some great fashion for the release date and some great shopping scenes. Shopping Tips: 1. Utilize your concierge at the hotel you're staying at for tips on where to shop, or if you're like me, the desk clerk, especially if you're out of town. 2. Watch the clip below to see how to handle snobby, rude sales people. 

Marie Antoinette (2006)
This visually striking, not terribly accurate historical biopic has plenty of ear & eye-candy. By eye-candy I'm referring to fashion, of course. Ear candy comes with the modern soundtrack that sets itself apart from stodgier period films. Shopping tips: Shop from home, preferably with catering & a dressing staff. LOL. JK. Can you say Cyber Monday? Have some friends over, eat some treats, and order from the comfort of home. 

Last Holiday (2006)
When Queen Latifah finds out she has a short time to live, she decides to go on a last trip and go out in style. Shopping Tips: 1.  If any of you are in the situation of being terminally ill, please make sure you leave your family taken care of. This film is a proponent of YOLO, but if you suddenly pull through you're left SOL. 2. However, there's nothing wrong with a treating yourself a little. 3. There's nothing wrong with vacationing alone. 

Blank Check (1994)
A kid's film about a child who gets blank check from a criminal and decides to write in a million dollars. Let the frivolous shopping begin in this 90's answer to Big. Who am I kidding? I totally want that float. Shopping tips: 1. Pay in cash. 2. Don't accept money from criminals. 3. I've seen adults who can't afford to spend the way this kid does.That's sad. 4. If you do legally come into $1million, take the whole lump some, give to charity, pay off all debt, save a nest egg, & put the rest away in a Mutual Fund to live off the interest.   

Legally Blonde (2001)
If you like pink you'll like all the stuff in this movie. This film contains some funny shopping sequences and outfit montages including this intro below. Shopping tips: 1. Dress the part 2. Know your stuff. Check out sales ads, and know what quality clothing should look and feel like 3. Read your labels so salespeople working on commission can't take advantage of you. There's a great scene where Elle goes to buy an engagement dress and gives the saleswoman a lesson in fashion retail. 

Enchanted (2007)
Part animated, part live-action story of a Disney-like princess stumbling into NYC wearing puffy-sleeved 80s Disney gowns. So at some point she must go shopping. Shopping tips: 1. Don't wear a costume in public. 2. If you must take a child with you, take cute and clever ones 3. Shopping can be a bonding experience. 

Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)
This entire movie is about shopping and over-spending. This person is extreme, but this movie is clever in it's story telling that Isla comes off as charming, and the lesson is told in a fun, light-hearted way. Shopping tips: 1. Shop for sample sales online to avoid the chaos of the scene below 2. Go with your gut. Convincig yourself to buy something only results in buyer's remorse 3. Don't use a credit card. In fact, go cut it up right now & close your account. 4. Store credit cards are scams. Your 15% off when-you-use-a-store-credit-card coupon means nothing when most APRs for those are in the 20% range. That means you don't save anything. You actually pay more. 5. Read your labels. It may only be 5% cashmere. 6. Debt collectors are the scum of the earth. Know your rights. There are legal protections you have against some of their tactics as well as limitations on their contact with you. They're not legally allowed to threaten or use abusive language with you. They're not allowed to call you at work. A simple Google search of "debt collectors legal rights" will yield you with a wealth of knowledge to protect you.  
Mean Girls (2004)
This movie has a lot of shiny things, and I'm not even referring to The Plastics. This mall scene below is a very funny reminder of how people act on Black Friday, etc. Shopping tips: 1. Don't follow other peoples' fashion rules. If you don't wanna wear pink on Fridays, don't wear pink. 2. Don't wear over-sized shirts. That is ill-fitting Miss Lohan. 3. Shopping is bonding 4. Do not wear sweat pants unless you're at or on your way from or to the gym. 5. NO mini-skirts for Black Friday shopping. The goods (and not the stuff in your cart) will get seen. 

The Ugly Truth (2009)
This fairly sexist film provides for 1 very funny, albeit humiliating shopping sequence (below) where Butler tries to get Heigl to dress sexier. This is a good date movie. Both parties will get something from it. Shopping tips: 1. If you wanna dress like a slut, let a straight guy pick out your wardrobe. 2. Do not trust battery operated lingerie. 3. Keep the girls up. Get a bra fitting once every 5 years or 5lbs lost or gained & during and after a pregnancy. 4. Skirt length: I'll have to agree. A little thigh can be good, but vag is trying too hard. 5. Fashion can be comfortable, efficient, & a little sexy. 

Elf (2003)
Buddy goes into his first department store and does everything wrong in this father son Xmas tale of hilarity. The department store provides a backdrop for much of this film. Shopping tips: 1. Take the escalator. Don't be scared. But do tie your shoes first. 2. Don't eat perfume 3. Don't buy a parent lingerie 4. Don't freak out over Santa or a sale. You'll make security worried, unless you're using it as a decoy so your shopping buddy can get dibs while the other shoppers stare at you in dismay. 

Sex and the City 2 (2010)
This beautiful but plot-thin sequel has plenty of pretty things to look at, a bit of social commentary on the way women are viewed and treated in other countries, and a few great shopping scenes. Shopping tips: 1. Beware of buying designer in other countries or back alleys or car trunks. Lots of knocks off & stolen merch. 2. It helps to speak the same language 3. Dubai is actually the most affluent city in the world so you probably won't get very many good deals. 4. The movie is actually filmed in Morocco. 5. Be wary of countries as well as store dress codes (yes they have them in the U.S..) They'll post them at the entrances of buildings. 

Sex and the City (2008)
The brilliant first film adaptation of the series has plenty of shopping scenes and dressing montages. The one below is an extended closet scene. Shopping tips: 1. Closet shop. Go through your closet every 6 months. Get rid of what you don't like or can't fit in anymore. 2. Have a swap party with friends around the same size as you or use a site like Tradesy. 3. Having designers as friends helps. 4. Use friends/fam discounts if any work at a store you like. 5. Bag Borrow or Steal has become Rent The Runway, and they rent out more than purses now. :)

Love Actually (2003)
One of my favorite Xmas movies ever, this romcom ensemble piece has a few shopping scenes. This one below is my favorite. Shopping Tips: 1. Beautiful gift wrapping can make a small gift look so much better. A ghetto mess can do the opposite. Use YouTube tutorials or utilize gift wrapping services if you lack in the gift wrap department 2. Don't buy your mistress a gift when you're shopping with your wife. Dumb. You deserve to sit there and sweat you little cheating bastard. 3. Don't let Bean wrap anything. 4. If a salesperson is taking too long or trying to sell you something you don't want, speak up. 

Jingle All The Way (1996)
This movie is the way I picture parents every Black Friday. NO toy is worth this nightmare Arnold goes through. Shopping tips: 1. If your kid is really that spoiled that they'd get mad for not getting them the latest greatest toy, then they don't deserve it. 2. Plan ahead 3. Don't shop on Xmas Eve. 4. Order online. 

A Christmas Story (1983)

This classic, albeit irreverent Xmas tale told from a child's POV has plenty of shopping and plenty of terrible gift ideas. Shopping tips: 1. Fragile is not Italian. It means breakable. 2. Leg lamps aren't kitchy just fugly. 3. Get age appropriate gifts. BB Guns for unaccompanied minors are not a good idea. 4. No holiday inappropriate costumes. Bunny suits are for Easter. 

The Joneses (2009)

The ultimate marking film. This film is about a fake family of marketing specialists called The Jones who move into neighborhoods and convince people to buy all their corporate sponsored stuff so they can "keep up with the Joneses''. This film addresses buying rather than really living. This whole film is a sales ad. Funny too. Shopping tips: 1. Don't worry about what your neighbors have. Most likely your neighbors can't really afford it. Statistically they're putting in a credit cards or getting car loans etc. They don't own anything. They're a slave to the lender. They're being owned. 

Finally here are some movies to watch with friends and fam this weekend as you recoup from Black Friday or hide out from it.

Christmas/Holiday Movies & Shopping Movies in/on

Penguins of Madagascar (2014) PosterAntarctica: A Year on Ice (2013) PosterInterstellar (2014) PosterSt. Vincent (2014) Poster

Cable Movies On Demand

Netflix Watch Instantly


Saturday, November 22, 2014

Best celebrity mean tweets by far

Celebrities Read Mean Tweets #8: http://youtu.be/LABGimhsEys

Monday, November 3, 2014

IMDB's Guide to Costumes + My Tips on How to Create Them

IMDB Costume Guide

Characters: Joffrey Baratheon

MY Tips: Fancy Robe or Mandarin Collar shirt under tan blazer or Tan mandarine collar jacket, Gold crown (any party store), Navy fabric or scarf or shawl & drape and pin, blonde/white temp hairspray color, white face powder

Titles: Maleficent
Characters: Maleficent

My tips: black coat with a popped collar, Makeup tutorial, make the headpiece with black electrical tape & foam core.

My Tip: Easiest costume ever.

Titles: PilotTransparent

My Tip: Borrow some of your wife's, gf's, mom's clothes & wig it.

Characters: Peter Quill

My Tip: grey tee, jeans, d.red leather jacket, muscles are a bonus

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 
Katniss Everdeen

My Tip: Check out Project Runway S11 Winner Michele. Her finale collection is Katniss Everdeen. Military jacket, tank, cargo pants, bow/arrow, Mockingjay Pin

Titles: GothamViper
Characters: Fish Mooney

My tips: sexy black top, black fur jacket, purple long nails, red hair chalk for your tips

Character: Chapman

My tips: orange scrubs, white tee, name tag-you can make on the computer & print and put in a laminated card holder with a clip

Titles: Divergent
Characters: Eric

My tip: Besides a motorcycle jacket, this look will need some pearcings (or fake ones w. beads & body glue), fake tattoo like a henna kit, & a razor or hair gel (working your hair into a pompadour)

Characters: Twisty the Clown

My tips: any old cheap clown suit, green hair chalk, makeup tutorial

Titles: Lucy
Characters: Lucy

My tips: white tee, jeans, belt, 2 fake guns, open green scrub top
Characters: Wendell del Tolito

My tips: fake mustache, Tarzan costume

Titles: Chef
Characters: Carl Casper

My tip: white button front shirt, black apron, red bandana

Characters: Daenerys Targaryen

My tip: blue maxi dress, cape, blonde Grecian wig or just braid your hair

Characters: Madame D.Zero

My tip: robe & matching cap, red gloves, red lipstick

Titles: The Purge: Anarchy 
Names: Keith Stanfield 

My tips:plain white mask like a Jason/Michael Myers, black sharpie, Gangster clothing

Titles: The Lego Movie
Characters: BatmanEmmet Brickowoski

My tips: This will take foam core, card board, glossy spray paint, stencils/stickers for if you wanna look like legos. 

Titles: Under the Gunn
Names: Tim Gunn

My tips: snazzy suit, glasses, white hairspray

Titles: Annabelle

My tips: nightgown, pigtails, Makeup tutorial 

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Ghost/Haunted House Halloween Movie List

With a movie I'm in called The Legend of Seven Toe Maggie in that last stages of post-production, I thought a Halloween movie list of ghost stories seemed appropriate.

 But first...please watch the 7TM trailer. I'm at the pool party in the pink maxi dress


Plot: When an eccentric millionaire offer a group of opposites $1,000,000 to spend the night in a so called "Haunted House" with a murderous past, they figure it is a quick way to get quick money and leave. All of them are sure it is some made up story just to mess with their heads a little and test their courage. But, once they stay in the house they start to think about the mistake they made in coming there when mysterious things start to happen.

My take: With great a turn by Geoffrey Rush, this remake is fun with some great use of CGI. 

Ghosts invade suburbia in this 1982 horror film from director Tobe Hooper (TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE) and producer Steven Spielberg. Life in the Freeling family's tract home is comfortably bland, but frisky poltergeists soon put a little excitement into their daily routine--moving furniture and communicating with their youngest daughter, Carol Anne, through the television set. Unfortunately, harmless pranks quickly turn nasty and the previously friendly ghosts kidnap Carol Anne, trapping her in the spirit world. To win the child back, the family calls in a team of parapsychologists and a psychic. 

My take: Scary and smart, this movie makes me not have clowns in my bedroom, makes me scared of trees during a storm, and of a fuzzy TV. One of my all time favorite movies. Brilliant.

Plot: In M. Night Shyamalan's THE SIXTH SENSE, Bruce Willis plays Dr. Malcolm Crowe, a successful Philadelphia child psychologist who is haunted by the sudden reappearance and suicide of a former patient. Months later Dr. Crowe encounters Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment), a troubled, withdrawn young boy who bears a striking similarity to his earlier patient. Dr. Crowe is compelled to help Cole, not only for the boy's sake, but for his own redemption. As Dr. Crowe struggles to determine what torments Cole, he must also come to terms with his increasingly distant relationship to his wife (Olivia Williams). Meanwhile, Cole is unable to describe the horrible things he sees even to his worried mother (Toni Collette). The film features Oscar-nominated performances by the startlingly intense Osment and the fiercely maternal Collette, as well as a subtle, subdued turn by Willis. Shyamalan directs his intriguing script with almost clinical precision, using carefully framed visuals to create the film's distinctly chilling atmosphere. On the strength of its pitch-perfect acting and direction, THE SIXTH SENSE has become the most successful thriller of all time.

My take: Ahh when M. Night was still brilliant. I still have hopes the man who brought us this fine film will come back. A ghost story seen from a child's eyes, this brilliant, scary, and intricately woven film pulls you in from the opening scene and doesn't let go. 

Plot: A young woman and her two children reside in a secluded island mansion awaiting the return of her husband from the war. Her children have a mysterious disease that won't allow them to be near sunlight so she is vigilant about keeping the curtains and doors closed at all times.

My take: A period horror film that even non-horror lovers will like. Beautifully shot and acted, this film draws you in, scares the crap out of you, and has a heck of a twist ending. 

 The Ring 2002
In Gore Verbinski's remake of Hideo Nakata's chilling horror film, a group of teenagers all die suddenly and inexplicably exactly one week after watching a mysterious videotape at a remote cabin in the Pacific Northwest. Journalist Rachel Keller (Naomi Watts), a relative of one of the victims, begins an investigation that leads to a mountain resort where she discovers the tape, which contains footage of random and surreal images. After viewing the tape, Rachel receives a phone call stating that she, too, has seven days left to live. As the clock ticks away, Rachel enlists the help of her former boyfriend, Noah (Martin Henderson), who is the father of her startlingly serious young son, Aidan (David Dorfman). Assisted by the intuitive illustrations of Aidan and the initially reluctant research of Noah, Rachel attempts to discover the significance of the cryptic tape before her time is up. The original RING, based on a novel by Kôji Suzuki, was a cult phenomenon in Japan, spawning a sequel, a prequel, and other spin-offs. Although Verbinski's adaptation shares much in common with its Japanese counterpart, the director distinctly alters numerous plot elements and, in grandiose Hollywood style, employs a much larger budget. The beautiful cinematography is one of the more telling enhancements, along with added screen time for other characters, including the morose Richard Morgan (Brian Cox). However, the key to this RING is Watts, who shines through the creepy atmosphere in a role that follows her success in MULHOLLAND DRIVE. This would appear to be no coincidence, since the film comes across like a David Lynch version of an X-FILES episode that presents shockingly scary moments and makes the most out of the unknown. A clear cut above most contemporary horror films, THE RING offers genuine chills and will make viewers think twice before watching any unmarked videotapes.

My take: This was the first & best of all those Asian horror remakes. Also the first movie I saw Naomi Watts in. Leaves you with a foreboding feeling. 

Paranormal Activity [Blu-ray]2009
Plot Synopsis A haunted house makes no secret of the fact it's not pleased with its new tenants in this independent tale of supernatural horror. Katie (Katie Featherson) and Micah (Micah Sloat) are a twenty something couple who've just moved into a new home in San Diego, CA. Katie has an interest in the paranormal and believes that malevolent spirits have been following her since childhood, though Micah is not so easily convinced. However, after several nights of loud noises and strange happenings, Micah starts to agree with Katie that some sort of ghost may have followed them to the new home. After a paranormal researcher tells the couple he can't help them, Micah decides to take control of the situation and sets up a battery of video cameras so that if a spirit manifests itself, he can capture its behavior on tape. Once the surveillance cameras are in place, Katie and Micah bring in a Ouija board in an effort to talk to the spirits, a move that deeply offends the ghosts. Paranormal Activity was the first feature film from writer and director Oren Peli.

My take: Thin on plot, heavy on scares. This movie did so much with very little, and really knew how to use the little budget it had. Instead of bad CGI, it used good actors, camera tricks, and great editing to deliver a suspenseful, scary, and unique ride. 

Image of Mirrors2008
An ex-cop and his family are the target of an evil force that is using mirrors as a gateway into their home. (110 mins.)
Director: Alexandre Aja

My take: Gory and well-acted, with a great twist ended. The bath tub scene. Nuff said. 
Image of Silent Hill2006
A woman goes in search for her daughter, within the confines of a strange, desolate town called Silent Hill. Based on the video game. 
Director: Christophe Gans

My take: What starts off as an eerie ghost story turns into some pretty disturbing stuff. Great acting, cinematography, and very creepy creatures. 
Robert Englund as Freddy Krueger in 'A Nightmare on Elm Street'1984

A Nightmare on Elm Street

 Freddy is particularly awful because of the way he targets children (both in life and in death) and teenagers, and his apparent total lack of any sympathetic qualities. Freddy is also one of the most iconic and recognizable of horror movie killers. 
My take: The cause of many bad dreams for me as a kid. 

Image of Dragonfly2002
A grieving doctor is being contacted by his late wife through his patients near death experiences. 
Director: Tom Shadyac

My take: I love this quiet film that had not only a surprising ending, but a tender performance by Kevin Costner, who, up until For The Love of the Game, I never liked much as an actor. This is one of those movies that turned it around for me. 
Image of American Horror Story2011 TV Series
An anthology series that centers on different characters and locations, including a haunted house, an insane asylum, a witch coven and a freak show. 

My take: This show is a true original. I've never seen anything like it. The grotesqueness nor the fact that each season is an anthology series. Watch season 1 for the Haunted House.